Especially when all seems lost.
Rediscovering love can sometimes feel like an uphill battle or even at times, can feel like a climb to the top of Mount Everest, wondering if its even possible. The truth of the matter is, we all struggle at times but, some of us have struggled to the point of despair. Perhaps you are at that point of despair right now. Is it possible to rekindle the love you once had with your husband? I have been there before but, by the grace of God and in obeying what God showed me to implement in my own marriage, I have been able to rediscover that once long lost love and then some. The truth of the matter is, we must do our part and leave the rest in Gods hands. We cannot control another person, we can influence, we can inspire, we can attract but, we are not called to be the Holy Spirit or make another persons decisions. This is a hard lesson, as we feel we have the right, because we are now “One”. After all, the decisions our husband makes, directly affects every aspect of our lives. However, God is our great example in how to “win” devotion, rather than forcing our will and our way on someone else. God gives us a choice. What would love be, without a choice, without the freedom to desire, to pursue?
It can hurt so bad, when the man you vowed to love and he vowed to love you, has resigned to bitterness, disdain and maybe even hatred. Perhaps he has found solace in the arms of another, or solace in a substance. So many things can pull away our husbands from the Lord and from us but, the good news is, we can always rediscover love. It may seem too far gone, your spouse may even say they don’t love you and never will again. Love and feelings come and go. However often times, more than not, even in the most impossible of situations, God can revive the love in both of your hearts if you follow his path in marriage. In this article I will be sharing a few keys, that helped me to get on the path of rediscovering that love and even making it better than ever before. I promise you, it is possible.
Key #1 Our Truth
Remember when you first met your spouse, he seemed all too dreamy, you wonder how could he be real?! You felt pulled together by the universe, only later down the road to question if that ever really existed. You both saw all the wonderful things about each other and looked past any faults that might arise. You recently remembered the days of single life, the terrible dates, the feeling of being alone longing to find someone who saw you. Now fast forward to today, much of those memories seem far off in the distance. As King David in the Bible often did, we must remember the trials, the seemingly impossible circumstances and remember how God has been faithful to us to deliver us and bless us. Your husband is a blessing from God, even if he doesn’t seem like it 90% of the time. You can find the good in your husband. God created him and there is a perfected soul, that God ordained on the inside. The Lord sees us, not as we are but, as we were created, as our perfected selves will one day be. He sees the purpose for which we were created and the purpose for which we were joined together. Don’t worry, God can use an ungodly husband as well, Gods arm is not too short. He sees what can be, not what is. The Lord sees through the eyes of faith and believes the best about us, and so should we with those we are in relationship with. Not blindly hoping, but inspiring our men to rise up and be all that God created him to be. Not by beating him down with our words or shaming him with our disapproval but, by building him up in the things God shows us, that we can truly appreciate. I know this is easier said than done when in the midst of a fiery trial. Remember the truth of the former days, when you believed the best, before the disappointments, hurts and frustrations. There is a good man deep down inside, even if he has been gone for quite sometime. We may not realize as wives but, we can often bring out the bear from the cave. Being overly helpful, constantly suggesting, questioning, and reacting when things don’t go our way. I know many times I have thought I was always correct, my way was the right way and I must help this perfectly capable man God gave me. The truth is, this is not Gods order for marriage and I am not always right. There are many ways of doing things and my husband can help me grow, as I expand my mind to what God is showing me. Remember back to when those old negative patterns didn’t exist in your marriage, and look forward to when a new pattern emerges that the Lord shows you. Hold on to your truth, your vision for what was and what will be, it can be greater than ever before. Get a New Vision, from the Lord, hold it in your minds eye and don’t let go.
